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“So what’s the bad news?”“Well, you’re going to meet her in Biology class.”✧ ✧ ✧A woman’s on vacation and calls homeShe asks her husband, “How’s my cat doing?”The husband says, “The cat’s dead.”The woman’s upset and says, “Well, you could have broken the news to me when I got home. I can’t enjoy my vacation now. You could have just said a little white lie, like the cat’s on the roof and you can’t get her down.”“Okay, I’m sorry,” says the husband, “I’ll remember that.”The woman says, “Anyway, how’s my mother doing?”The husband says, “Your mother’s on the roof and we can’t get her down.”✧ ✧ ✧What do you get when you cross a whore with a computer??A fucking know it all✧ ✧ ✧Good HeavensThe teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.---The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.There were all the regular types of stuff: Spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher. He wasknocked out of his thinking by the sound of Cory panting up the hill.He chuckled "C'mon Cory. You can't be this out of shape. Eli's beenmaking this walk every day the past few days. I can't imagine he's inany better shape than you are."Cory hunched over, wheezing. Robert held in another laugh, seeing hishunched over roommate gasping for air, looking like a worn-outscarecrow. "Eli's scrawny but he's actually," Cory huffed, "pretty inshape. He plays a lot of HDM."Robert raised an eyebrow. "HDM?" Hop Dance Mania." Ah." Yeah, he doesn't look like much but he's got pretty good stamina." Hewiped a bead of sweat out of his eye. "Damn it, why did Eli have to geta job at the very top of the hill?"Robert shrugged and pressed the button to the crosswalk. "Hell if Iknow. I only met you two a week ago. You're the one who has known himsince kindergarten." Robert scratched at his chestnut brown hair. "Whywere you so insistent we go bug him at work today anyway? We haven'tgone any other day.
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